Do you feel like you often have to play referee or mediator between students? Do you find that most of your day is spent bombarded with “he said, she said” games of tattling and little problems? If these things sound all too familiar, your students could greatly benefit from you explicitly teaching conflict resolution. In this post, you’re going to learn easy and effective ways to help students learn to solve conflicts independently and get your time back each day!
Teaching Conflict Resolution
Teaching conflict resolution in the classroom is essential for creating a positive, peaceful learning environment. When students know how to handle disagreements and solve problems respectfully, it reduces disruptions and fosters better communication among peers. This skill not only helps students manage their emotions, but it also encourages teamwork and empathy, which are critical for building strong classroom relationships. By teaching conflict resolution early on, you’re equipping students with tools they’ll use both inside and outside the classroom. As a result, you’ll notice smoother, more productive days where students are better able to focus on learning because they know how to resolve issues independently. Empowering students with conflict resolution skills helps build a supportive, harmonious classroom culture which I think is what we all want. So let’s get into how to do it.
Express Yourself
Expressing yourself is a super important skill when it comes to your social and emotional well-being and we’re not born knowing how to do it in an effective and respectful way. Our students come from various backgrounds, which means they’ll display various ways to communicate. Some may not ever have been taught how to express themselves, others may be discouraged to do so, and a few may have rules that are appropriate for their home setting, but not for school. It’s also important to remember that some adults are still learning how to effectively communicate, so we of course have to give our littles grace. With that perspective in mind, we must set our expectations and then MODEL and PRACTICE over and over again.
So how do we begin to help our students to express themselves in conversation? We work through how to communicate when we’re upset, we practice using “I” statements when expressing emotions, and we learn to apologize genuinely. One of my favorite ways to teach young learners how to let someone know that something has upset them is by reading, A Bug and a Wish by Karen Scheuer. It teaches a very simple and effective way to say, “Hey. I don’t like that. Please fix it.” This is great for teaching conflict resolution. Check out the poster that I love using below. It provides students with the language they need so that they can begin to express themselves in a respectful way. Practice that language by setting up opportunities for them to role play, like pictured below, to develop the skill when kids naturally have conflict.
Introducing I Statements is another great tool for students to use while communicating how they feel. They are respectful, direct statements to help students express their feelings and state what they want. An example is, “I feel sad when you say things about my shoes. I want you to stop doing that.” Or “I feel angry when you don’t include me. I want to play together.”
When teaching conflict resolution, another crucial communication skill is knowing when and how to apologize in a meaningful way. This has to be explicitly taught if we expect kids to do it. How many times have you encountered a kid doing something to upset someone else and their way of apologizing is by mumbling, “sorry.”? This is where we step in by teaching them what it looks and sounds like to genuinely apologize. I like to use this poster to help students figure out all the components to saying sorry sincerely.
Social Emotional Problem Solving
Just like everything else, we MODEL and PRACTICE. Over and over and over again until they’ve got it down. All of these skills work together to create a safe space for students to express themselves. You are setting expectations for an environment where peers are communicating, problem solving and apologizing when they’re wrong so everyone feels good to speak up when needed. Grab this game equipped with various scenarios where students can practice all of these skills HERE.
Are they struggling to even recognize their emotions? That can be really difficult too. Check out THIS post to read about how to support students as they learn to identify and regulate feelings!
Teaching Conflict Resolution With Size of the Problem
We need effective communicators to solve problems. Primary students often need help with small issues like “She’s looking at me,” “I lost my pencil,” or “My crayon broke.” This can be exhausting. The goal is to teach students to solve problems independently or at least try before seeking an adult or having a meltdown. At the start of each year, I facilitate a lesson on Big and Little Problems. We discuss their differences and ways to solve little problems independently. We read, What Do We Do with a Problem? by Kobi Yamada and discuss how WE can be problem solvers. Using this language, coupled with a lot of modeling, empowers students to do it on their OWN. I use THIS lesson to help students work through problems and become independent problem solvers.
Tattling vs Telling
Do students even know the difference between tattling and telling? We may think they do, but they may not. It’s important to spend time explicitly teaching and modeling the differences for students. So what’s a good definition? Take a look at some of our favorite anchor charts below. You can print and display these for students, or even project and trace them! They provide visuals to help with student understanding and can stay on display in the classroom as long as needed.
Tattling vs. Telling Problem Solving Activities
We complete sorts to help us tell the difference between telling and tattling and read books to help visualize the concept. Check out our whole group sort and a list of favorite books on the topic below! The list does contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you purchase through them.
Don’t Squeal Unless it’s a Big Deal
Diamond Rattle Loves to Tattle
Emotions
Sometimes, students need a little extra help identifying how they’re feeling and what emotions they have. Learn easy ideas to help them HERE! Grab this FREE engaging emotions board game by subscribing below, and help your students become feelings experts!
Teaching Conflict Resolution with Team Building
For all of these skills to feel meaningful to students, they have to feel like they are a team. When teaching conflict resolution to students, I love to incorporate some fun team building activities. Students get to practice working together and solving problems in real time as they need it. They get to put all the conflict resolution learning into action and have fun doing it. Check out a few of our favorite team building activities below!
Cup Stacking- Who doesn’t love stacking up a bunch of cups? For this activity, students can be grouped in threes, fours, fives, or sixes. Each team is given 5 cups to work with. First, allow students to work together to just stack the cups to make one structure using their hands. Give them about 5 minutes then each group talks about how they worked together and what they made. Then they will complete the activity again. But this time, they are not allowed to use their hands to move the cups.
Give each group a rubber band with pieces of string or paper clips attached. You’ll need as many pieces of string or paper clips as you have students in the group. Now they have to figure out how to work together and use the rubber band to move and stack the cups. Afterwards talk about the difference of being able to use their hands versus not and how they had to work together to get the cups stacked.
Highest Tower Building Challenge- Complete this activity with a number of different materials, such as dry spaghetti noodles, index cards, pipe cleaners, marshmallows, toothpicks, gumdrops, etc. Group students together in threes, fours, or fives. They must work as a team to create the highest tower they can, given the materials they have. You could also provide tape or glue depending on your preference to help them adhere some of these materials together. This is a fun STEM activity that provides a good challenge and calls for LOTS of teamwork!
Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship- Students pair off to play a game of rock, paper, scissors. When they lose, they become a cheerleader to the person they lost to. The winner will then find another opponent. By the end, there should only be two players left, but they each have a TON of cheerleaders! It’s such a fun way to cheer each other on and have fun with a little competition!
You can check out even more in the post 15 Must Know Team Building Activities!
Revisit These Social Emotional Learning Activities When Needed
Sometimes we’re not given the tools we need or are not sure how to implement these values into our classrooms. That’s where I’ve got you covered! Check out the growing bundle of engaging, hands-on, valuable tools, lessons, and resources to support your students, while they learn these important life skills in a fun way! These lessons are easy to implement, engaging, and quick! Spend just a few minutes a day to create a thriving classroom full of students who know how to take care of their needs!
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Social Emotional Growing Bundle
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